Fluctuating Weight.

Ok so last week I experienced my first 'gain' it was 0.5 of a lb.. Yes that sounds ridiculous, especially as I changed my weigh-in outfit from silk to cotton.. But I actually felt like crying.. 

RIDICULOUS!!!!👋 slap. 

BUT It did make me realise this loosing malarkey isn't going to go on forever, I will hit my gold WeightWatchers, & start maintaining, & I am bound to fluctuate ?!. It was just a sharp stab to reality.. My first gain since I joined WW on 3/01/13. 

I have to admit it has made me more determined, almost a boost in fact... But It did take me half an hour to change my mind from tears.. We all experience those horrible moments, disappointed, sad, angry even.. I just haven't in so long, It hurt, but we can do it, don't let it knock you, decide it will make you work harder ! Health is where I'm headed, running half a marathon, being truly healthy & fit..  that's all I want & all I need.. 

So this week I'm focusing on fitness, attempting regular small burts of exercise, switching up my diet - trying new recipes, steering away from easy unhealthy snacks & creating a happy clean home, moving furniture around, throwing things away etc - which always helps me feel inspired! 

What gets you inspired? Creates a relaxed mind? Keeps you focused? 

Whatever it is you can do it. Even during the toughest of moments ♥️♥️♥️

So smile ladies, & never stop.. We are all beautiful & strong xx 

Defining 'Perfection'

 

Rib cage, pillows of skin under arms, breasts, stomach & thighs, ooh not forgetting the stretch marks & scars... 

Many a word / expression that will pop in to people's head when they see this photo, many an observation to be made.. Yet it doesn't intimidate me in the slightest, I couldn't be prouder to capture who I've become, who I am, so natural and real. I love my body. My stretch marks have faded, my skin has shrunk, my figure shines. 

There's nothing more perfect than being comfortable with your so called 'imperfections', your body in its pure form.

When you type 'perfect' into Google you get this..

'having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.'

Who sets out the rules and regulations ? The desirable features?.. That's just it - you do, we all do! Every individual has a different mind, desire, heart, opinions...  everyone defines perfection in their own unique way. Just because you may stare at another girl walking down the street & think 'wow', it doesn't mean I will.  Just because you may love, accept, or hate my body, doesn't mean another person or I shall. 

I am being as good as it is possible for me to be - therefore I am my own kind of perfect. 

That's exactly what you should strive for, not societies view, but of your own, to make the most of yourself & to be happy with the skin you're in - After all it's your life, your body, you're happiness, no one can take that away from you if you don't let them. 

It's Monday, a new week, a new start, a new positive mind. Your oyster  Xxx 

Facebook Hangovers

The morning after the night before..

You wake up to find notifications popping up on your brightly lit screen, 'ping ping ping' - oh yep, the dreaded 'Facebook Hangover'. 

In drunken antics everyone loves a 'selfie' or flipping the camera round & snapping away at their peers; Well wouldn't it be brilliant to magically eradicate everyone else's awful snaps of you?! - sadly this is impossible ( - PS. someone sort it out. )

I found myself in this predicament only a couple of days ago, flicking through the pictures my mind pinged -  'yes, okay, yes, no, okay, okay, no, HELL NO!'... Oh gosh were a couple brutal! Do people not see how horrific they are ? or in their very own hungover state find it rather amusing to upload the petrifying disasters of the eve before? - anyways, it happened, they were there, there's only one thing left to do, press it - UNTAG. Phew. . . Nope, they're still there, lurking away on someone else's screen in internet turbulence. 

WAIT.. 

What makes them so dreadful? 

INSECURITY

 ...are they not just random captured moments of you having fun taken by someone other than yourself.

That's it - it's the 'Selfie' VS 'Non-Selfie' anxiety. 

To which I have suffered with dearly. Every girl knows you take snap after snap until you find 'the one' to upload, yet these in discussion are the non-staged creations & with that comes dread.

However, I very rarely have these moments - due to my love of snapping I tend to be on the other side of the camera. I love having memories captured forever & often wish people took more pictures ( NB. - Take pictures of Meeeeee darn it! )

This is why after a couple of days of mulling over them, I no longer hate these snaps, In fact I have grown to quite like them -  knowing that this is the natural, happy me in a moment of giggles. Okay so yes I am totally inebriated but life is for enjoying hey?! I should be able to drink, chat, & dance the night away with friends without the fear of tomorrow's status & so with that realization - really who cares if I giggle with my teeth showing?! who's going to stop their Facebook feed & think 'OMG' & still be thinking that in 5 minutes time?... quite frankly, No one. 

Insecurity is one of the hardest battles, but one that can be overcome in little stages.

So go out this weekend, enjoy yourself & don't be afraid of Facebook. 

This is yet another lesson in self reassurance & I am so pleased to have learnt it.. 

xx

Squishy Sad Faced.

I can't even believe... These photos horrify & upset me. In fact when I found them last week I vowed never to share them, but here I am.. Showing you... Why? Because you've all been so supportive & I base my path here on honesty, on showing you the good, the bad, & the downright sad. 

This was just a couple of months before I let people know how desperately unhappy I was, my facial expression on the left was perhaps all that people ever saw, me looking to the ground, trying to hide my misery. It saddens me, but the best thing I ever did was seek help, depression is such a deep dark hole to be in alone. I avoided letting anyone in, I shut the doors, stuck on a smile & trudged through life until I broke. 

That day, the day I let the tears fall down my cheeks whilst sitting in the doctors office was the moment my world changed, the relief was immense. I took anti-depressants, saw a counsellor & got referred for my gastric sleeve - My journey began.  Depression doesn't just disappear, in fact I believe it's constantly lurking in the background waiting to grab you whenever you let your guard down. To avoid falling, I try & address any issues that arise rather than hide from them as I did before, so far this seems to be working; My life has transformed so vastly that I haven't had a moment to allow things to get the better of me,  I remain positive & happy. I am looking forward to the future whilst looking after myself inside out. 

Thank heavens for the support I've been given via the NHS, family, friends & all of you. I definitely would've found my journey so much harder without you all, thank you. Xx

Wobbly Moments.

You know the ones I'm talking about, the emotional type. Those moments when we know we've been 'naughty' and are perhaps feeling ashamed & disappointed purely because we didn't get up & go for that run but instead put our feet up to indulge in melt in the mouth chocolate - that sort.

Well my solution is pretty simple - smile. Life is for living, not for tormenting yourself. We are allowed to indulge, to start afresh, to sit down, to eat a cream cake or takeaway! what sort of life would it be if we didn't? - probably not as fun as life is now.

When life goes off course simply sit down & be honest with yourself, perhaps mentally or physically jot down a little list of where things have gone a wobble, even the moments you really enjoyed and would love to repeat. That way it makes the changes easier.

For example, my pure love of crisps, prawn cocktail / salt & vinegar walkers, Wotsits, Tyrell's vegatable crisps - YUM!... (during typing this my husband walks in with a packet, he's reading my mind! somewhat peculiar - in fact it goes to show he knows me as well as I know myself!) Anyways, back to all things crispy.. don't deprive yourself! The second someone tells me that I can't - I will, I want, I need. So I shall - I shall not buy my favourite multi-packs on the weekly food shop, instead I will purchase different flavours (not so tempting but provide my boys with snacks) & instead come up with a healthier alternative, perhaps rice cakes, homemade snack pots - such as tuna, houmous etc. I can then indulge in a pack of pure bliss once or twice a week on my treat day (Treat day always falls on a Friday for me, simply because my Weight Watchers weigh-in is on a Thursday evening!). They're always extra yummy when you see them as a treat to!

Counteracting the bliss with the exercise - I have many a wobbly moment due to my laziness & fatigue. I find the lazier I am the more guilty I feel, but the idea of an hours run is almost too much to bear! So instead, I admit to myself that it's okay not to run, perhaps do a 20 minute walk, a blitz on the exercise bike, do something! & that's the key - something truly is better than nothing. I find it's all about rejecting your own excuses, saying 'I'll do it tomorrow' seems to be my favourite - but why? there's no reason why I could not do it today, it's just easier to fob the responsibility on to yet another day. However, once you start, once you achieve, once you move your bottom & just do that little bit more.. there's no greater feeling. In fact I love my body more once I've shown it some care & attention.

So here I am after today's mini workout, after excusing my 'Wobbly Moment' & instead I'm wobbling around, feeling proud & pleased. Cherishing the body I have whilst looking forward no longer backwards... 

Don't forget to live life, to enjoy it, don't beat yourself up, use treat days & special occasions for what they are. If you have a 'Wobbly Moment', don't cower away instead face the facts, be honest & be kind to yourself, it's not the end of the world, it's not the end of your journey, it's simply a 'wobble'.

xx

Admire Your Silhouette

I can't imagine having any other silhouette... I can't imagine wanting to... 

Yes when I sit down my skin flops into a round pillow of flesh.. When the water flows it almost floats to the surface in a rather peculiar yet fascinating fashion.. However, I look at it as a thing of beauty, a natural state of body, one that has been through many a trial and tribulation, one that has stretched & shrunk, one that has produced another human being - & well there is truly nothing more magical than that. So yes, I don't have a flat non-marked stomach, in fact purely the opposite, but that's no less perfect, no less pure, no less beautiful. Every stomach, arm, leg, face, fingerprint is different .. We are individuals, lovely in our own right. We shall all bare different silhouettes, different shadows & I can't think of anything more delightful... more perfect, than that. 

You are gorgeous, whether you're tall, short, skinny or chubby, lined with stretch marks, scarred, hold muscles or loose skin. 

It's my right to be me & society can say no different. I love who I am and I most certainly love who you are to. 

Newbie Blogger!

Well Hello There,

.... after a thumbs up from my lovely Instagram followers I have decided to explore the blogging bug that has exploded in recent years.

 - For those of you that have no found me via Insatgram my name is @CurvaliciousGirl

Here's a quick little blurb to let you know about myself as well as giving you a swift insight into the subjects my blog will be covering:

• My name is Isabella, I am 25, & mother to Alfred (3). 
• From London.
• I am on a weight loss journey, starting at 21 st 4 lbs hoping to reach 11st 4 lbs. 
• My journey begun in January 2013 when I joined Weight Watchers which I continue to love.
• Gastric Sleever since May 2014.
• PCOS sufferer - such as fertility issues, weight gain, hair growth etc.
• Previously suffered with depression & I believe this is truly an ongoing battle.
• Cookery - I love to create & twist recipes, explore new tastes as mine have changed so much since loosing weight - it's quite bizarre! I also feel that presenting your food beautifully makes all the difference. 
• Exercise - I have taken up running, as well as trying to come up with new home workouts, including cycling away on my new exercise bicycle! yippee!
• Self Love & Confidence- Perhaps why most of you are here, I love my body (as I'm sure you already know) I may have loose skin, scars, stretch marks, wobbly bits etc, however I am beautiful - so are you. I am keen to share my experiences and encourage others to love who they are also. 

Anyways, I shall not burden you with too many facts, but shall instead work on my blog & post something a little more exciting shortly!

thank you for reading & don't forget to think about one part of yourself physical or emotionally that you love - now smile!

Toodles! x